A trip of a lifetime, the brochure had read. That much of it was true, except it was not what he had expected. Already three feet deep in quicksand in an Amazon rainforest after walking off the trail to take a leak, Jack Snead was in a predicament. He wondered how long it would take for the trail guide to realize he was missing, then how long it would take for him to figure out where he left the trail.
The sounds of the forest echoed from the canopy overhead. It was quite beautiful he remarked, as he floated in the water and sand mixture. Prepared with only a few Discovery Channel specials, he knew he was supposed to stay calm and float, but with nothing to grab on to, he was up mud creek without a paddle, so to speak.
The quicksand was different than he had imagined. It was dark and cool. If he ignored the temptation to panic for his life, it was actually quite soothing. He imagined it was like a full body mud bath, something people back in L.A. probably pay a few hundred bucks for. And here he was getting it for free!
Waiting for help, he couldn't help but think of another Discovery Channel special he saw about a fish that swam up men's urethras. Was that in the Amazon, he thought? He thought it was only in actual bodies of water, but was unnerved since he had fallen in when he was relieving himself. He was essentially pantless in a pit of Amazon mud, with who know how many different types of microbes.
Jack Snead called out once more for help, then closed his eyes and listened to the forest. It was going to be a long day.
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