Leaving Nebraska

"I'll be good," he said. "I promise."

She cried, but she had to do it. She didn't know what else to do. She knew that this time would come, through the long drive from Miami, deceiving her boy for all those miles. But what could she do? There was no more money. She had no job, could no longer provide for him. He would be better this way, she convinced herself.

"You'll be better off this way," she said, blinking away tears.

"No," he protested, his small arms wrapped tightly around her like tentacles.

"I'll find out where you are and I'll come for you when things get better."

She wasn't sure if she could. She was abandoning her child. What court would give her custody again? But she didn't know what else to say. If it was a delusion, at least it was enough for now.

"Momma!" he cried as she tore away from him.

An orderly gently restrained him while she left. She walked out the automatic doors and began the lonely drive back home--if it could be called that anymore--crying so hard that she could hardly see.