Bermuda or Bust

"So you know how I need to get those two weeks off for the trip to Bermuda with Emily?"

"Right."

"And how I don't have any vacation time left?"

"Right again. Is there a point to this?"

"I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to use my sick time."

"You're not sick and you can't use that for two straight weeks."

"Yes, but it's the way I'm going to use it. I'm going to call in gay."

"Come again?"

"It's brilliant! Check this out. I'm going to say I'm gay, and that
I've been told it's a sickness, and I need to spend time at a retreat to cure myself. And if they don't let me use, I'll sue for discrimination."

"You're not gay."

"Right! That's where you come in. You're going to be my pretend-boyfriend."

"I've lost track of all the inappropriate things you've said."