Sunday, December 14, 2008

CSI Speak: Miami Style

It's Dolan's first week out of uniform, having recently been promoted to detective. He is behind schedule and arrives late to the crime scene. The carnival is swarming with blue, as patrolmen, detectives, and forensics mill about under the glare of the midday sun.

He walks past the tape and gets his first glimpse of the body. It is sticking head first into a cotton candy machine. It appears to be a man, but he can't see see much else because the upper half of his body which is inside the vat is completely smothered and encased inside cotton candy like a fluffy pink cocoon. A detective is already on scene, and he is scrutinizing the the body with great intensity. It looks like he was studying an autostereogram, one of those pictures that you have to focus behind it to uncover the image.

"What do we have?" Dolan asks him.

The man says nothing. Apparently he is in deep thought.

Dolan looks at a couple of uniforms that are standing nearby. They look back at him with equally puzzled looks.

As if coming out of a trance, the man says, "It looks like like...," and stops. He is wearing shades and he looks up at the sun as if it was a suspect. Then he takes off the shades and looks directly at Dolan.

"...things got a little sticky," he continues with great dramatic flair, the last word punctuated by a musical flourish that comes out of nowhere and then fades out just as quickly.

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