An Extraordinary Interview

Bad economic times are tough on everyone, even--as it turns out--superheroes. Of course it's no problem for ones with trust funds and fight crime as their only hobbies. Even super humans need money. They need food. Short of a super power for fasting or using their skills for ill-gotten money, even your most super of superheroes need a job, one that pays. When practical skills are close to nil, the options become scarce.

It is for this reason that Captain Extraordinary is now sitting in Wallace Fry's office. He is interviewing for the utterly pedestrian position of security guard with Prime Security Associates. He is highly overqualified, but he is behind on rent and they have good benefits.

"So, Mr. Extraordinary," Wallace says while perusing the resume. "Why do you think you'll be an asset to us here at PSA?"

"I'm glad you asked that. I have extensive security-related experience."

"I see."

Wally looks at the muscular man in front of him and then returns his attention to listed work experience on the resume. It was short. It began: "Hero, May 2005 to present."

"We're looking for people with good personal skills. Our employees are assigned to all sorts of companies and we have to be sure that any prospective hire can interact well with all types."

"Completely understand. I've worked with tons of people, usually the police. I'm good with kids too. There was a school bus incident a while back--"

"Right. I see that here. I saw that on the news too. What happened again? There was a runaway school bus?"

"A madman tampered with it. I had to deflect twelve oncoming cars before I could slow it down."

"But didn't you do that by throwing it into a lake? I remember seeing children crying on television. Aren't some of them still in therapy?"

"Yea," Captain Extraordinary said with a wave of his hand, "but at least they're safe."

"Sure. And this here about the militia compound?"

"They were holed up for two days before I got the call. Heavy arms fire. Kept the cops away every time they got close. I took care of it for them. Easy-peasy. As you can see, I well-suited for this security gig."

"Well, our guards don't see this much action. To be honest with you, it can be pretty boring. In fact, half of them don't carry guns."

"No problem. I don't need one anyway. And I'm not worried about being bored. To be honest with you also, I'm just looking for a paycheck." At that moment, his phone beeped with a text message. He looked at it quickly. "Um, I'm going to have to go. Duty calls."

Against his better judgment, Wallace says, "Mr. Extraordinary--may I call you Ken? Ken, I won't keep you. Why don't we set up another appointment, and I'll try to get some other people to meet with you as well."

"Sounds great!" Captain Extraordinary flashes his newsworthy smile.

"And Ken?"

"Yes?

"Maybe you should leave the tights at home next time."