Powers of Persuasion

I have a special gift. You might even call it a super power. I can persuade a person to do almost anything, a realization that came to me slowly. As a child, I was a good kid, but I would get into trouble once in a while. At first I would be punished, but then I learned to talk, and I would talk my way out of everything. My parents would later wonder how they could have let me go so easily after breaking a vase or violating curfew, but these moments of clear thinking were gone from their memory quickly.

For years, I attributed this to my charismatic nature, my gift for gab, my silver tongue. I thought it was why I got free food, how I got I got of traffic tickets, how I got such great deals at yard sales. But it didn't explain how I could convince my history teacher that yes, Columbus was really Japanese and discovered Atlantis. It didn't explain how I could coax my stingy friend Marcus to lend me all the money in his wallet when he normally did everything to get out of paying for his share of a meal. It didn't explain how my father, a rational man, conceded that every Leap Day the poles of Earth reversed. These events didn't last long however. My history teacher would remember that Columbus was Italian and discovered America. Marcus would not remember that I borrowed money, even though he would always accept it when I returned it. My father would come to his sense and know that a Leap Day comes by once every four years and has nothing to do with the poles.

I can't decide what to do with this power. It's true I never need to work. All I need to do is ask anyone, even a stranger, for money and I'll have it. Hell, I could rob a bank, and then convince everyone that the missing money was just an accounting error. The only thing that doesn't seem to work is love. I tried one time in high school to get Patty Holcomb to go out with me. She was the decidedly any by concensus, the prettiest girl in school and clearly unattainable for me. I thought I could get her to fall in love with me. Instead, she dismissed me with the regularity that visited other failed suitors. I couldn't get someone to even fall in like with me. Sure, I could get someone to smile at me and like me for a few minutes, but after our conversation all they would have is a distant memory that--for some reason--they enjoyed my company, but for the life of them could not remember why.

In this it seemed like a stuck somewhere between a hypnotist and a vampire. A hypnotist can't get someone to do something that is morally reprehensible to them, but I can get a PETA member to eat veal. A vampire has a power similar to mine, but they can get anyone to fall for them. They ooze seduction.

Maybe I'm a Jedi. That's something at least.